In New York, our Mayor, Kevin Sheehy, ups the ante, by offering our Governor "not even that" to do the same.   

Looking at the list of alternatives, the Governor must be glad that's he's legally blind. As has been demonstrated time and again, the worst way to avoid being garrotted by members of the Cuomo family is to do them a service.

Beyond that lies nothing but the thicket of identity politics. Female, or Upstate or Latino? Plenty of onefers out there, a coupla twofers, and no threefers in sight, even if one could see them.

Any way, how can one appoint on the basis of identity someone whose recogonition level verges upon invisibilty?

It ain't an identity if the identity's a secret. If that were the criteria, the candidate should be former Assemblyman Dave "Batman" Greenberg (memorably immortalized on film by Ron Leibman).

Even better, let us now join in supporting the caretaker candidacy of the noted NYS Blogger Clareance Gatemouth Schlossberg, by joining his Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/wall.php?id=6491435148#/group.php?gid=51160093124

I can't promise you much, except that it's likely that such employent will keep Gatey from blogging for nearly two years, which should make politicos and readers alike extremely grateful, thereby making this the one possible apponment where the elated will outnumber the enemies and ingrates.

This a not a joke. It's not like I was proposing to run Rock Hackshaw for the City Council. Gatey's candidacy is as serious as a heart attack and twice as much fun.

Can you get to that?              

Guess this is one time there weren’t “Three Men” in the Room. Albany’s center of power may indeed be it’s own very small “Emperor’s Club”, but this time the Emperor really had no clothes. In true Talmudic fashion, Eliot Spitzer decided to relieve unbearable urges by visiting another city. Who knew a guy who forgot to celebrate Chanukah would turn out to be so religious?   

It is a mark of the desperate state of the economy that news of Eliot Spitzer’s woes did not stop the stock market from dropping 150 points, but if Wall Street was restrained in its celebration, the mood in club houses and courthouses (extra credit if you can tell them apart) all across the state ranged from mild to middling elation, with an occasional tongue cluck of regret about the wife and kids.  

And that was just the Democrats.  

A few quick and none too deep thoughts as we await the “I am a Straight American” speech.
 
Eliot Spitzer must be the only guy in Albany ever to pay for it, at least with his own money (or Bernie's), instead of the taxpayers’. In the wake of the comeback which was manifested by the election of Senator Aubertine, some might call this scandal an example of SNATCHing defeat from the jaws of victory, but it's clear the Governor LAID the SEED of his destruction some time ago.

Still, one must admit that $2000 for an hour spent with the Governor would be cheap if the money were flowing the other way around. Moreover, in contrast to Joe Bruno's taxpayer financed travels, in Spitzer's trip to Washington, the acts of prostitution seem to have been incidental to the public purpose, rather than the other way around.   

But, at least the Governor got a moment of ecstasy for his money. By contrast, Malcolm Smith got fucked without even getting kissed. The potential ascension of David Paterson means it will now take an extra vote to oust Joe Bruno from power, with the presiding chair for the ensuing procedural nightmare being occupied by Bruno himself. And any talk of “Zones of Potential Agreement” seems likely to go out the window. All those who think John Bonacic is jumping ship for Dave Paterson probably bet on Hillary to win Hawaii.  

Will David Paterson be able direct to the Senate Democrats the resources that Spitzer did? One sometimes got the feeling during his tenure as Senate Minority Leader that Paterson was badly afflicted with a case of the Stockholm Syndrome. But, even if he did manage to muster the commitment, could he manage to muster the cash? Paterson is the son of a very influential attorney, but the fundraising advantages one obtains from being the son of Basil Paterson can hardly compare with those obtained as the son of Bernard Spitzer. Moreover, the ascension of Paterson might make it easier for the Senate’s Democratic Conference to dump a black leader (although a Governor Paterson could intervene to prevent that).      

This seems bad news for Hillary in at least two ways:
 
1) It reminds people of how much they dislike reading about pols with troubled family lives (although, truth be told, most folks find it a guilty pleasure).
 
2) David Paterson's kept a lot of black NYS pols in line because they thought Paterson was going to be appointed to the US Senate in the event of a Hillary victory. Right now, David’s got to be thinking "Fuck the US Senate, I’m finally getting into that Room!" Stevie Wonder would call this "Fulfillingness' First Finale". Under the circumstances, an Obama endorsement, and an avalanche to follow, no longer seems unthinkable. 

Despite the almost unprecedented nature of what seems to have transpired, the only thing which is now unthinkable is the change which was supposed to have occurred on day one. Pardon me for not being as stoic as Silda Wall.  
 
Can you get to that?  

As a result of the treachery of “Joe Bruno Democrats” in facilitating Golden’s victory, and other atrocities, Joe Bruno has been sucking the lifeblood out of Governor Spitzer’s efforts to reform the Albany Bi-Partisan Iron Triangle, leaving change for the better in New York Government in the zombie-like state of the un-dead. As a result, Bruno remains the real Governor of what I call the “Vampire State.” And Marty Golden remains Count Drac of Transylbayridge. And in Golden’s 2002 victory over a Democratic incumbent, Steve Harrison served as Golden’s own personal Igor. "

What hump?” you ask.

It was Harrison!

So, today I was having a beer or twelve with one of Golden’s hired guns (apparently this was one he didn't lose), who told me how in 2002, Steve Harrison wasn’t merely giving all the money he was asked for, he was also coming on along, singing “Love Me, Love Me, Love Me, I’m Illiberal.” Harrison didn’t merely write checks, he was an everyday volunteer.

Query: did Steve stand in front of Catholic Churches with the other Golden volunteers the Sunday before the election handing out the lit bragging about being against abortion and gay marriage, while supporting school prayer?

All lot of good it did Harrison (although he suffered less harm than the State of New York). According to the Golden consultant, Harrison spent all of 2002 working for Golden, and then came to the Golden boy for an endorsement in the special election to fill Golden's Council vacancy. Golden said no, and Harrison threw, and I quote, "a hissy fit".

That, my friends, is the real story of Harrison's break with conservatism. Not about "principles", but all about "the principal".

Steve Harrison lied down with the dogs of the rabid right and the morning after, they wouldn't even give him car fare home! Now he’s calling the Republicans rapists because they inserted their tips without leaving him one.

Talk about hating yourself in the morning. Maybe Steve should call Mike Nifong.

The day after losing the Council race, Harrison proceeded straight to a back alley and had his conservatism extracted with a coat hanger, and has since become a born again virgin. Most people acquire social diseases from such tawdry encounters, but in Harrison’s case, he seems to have gotten cured from one.

Now you know the rest of the story.

Can you get to that?

I recollect with a-mixed emotions
All the good times we used to have
But you were making preparations
For the coming separation
And you blew everything we had...

When you base your love on credit
And your loving days are done
Checks you signed with a-love and kisses
Later come back signed ‘insufficient funds’"

- George Clinton (not the one who was Governor)

Outside of the free and easy sex, one of the few nice things about Albany has always been the reluctance of the participants in the Bi-Partisan Iron Triangle to use the tools of law enforcement for the advancement of political aims. Contrast this to Washington, where perjury traps and special prosecutors (not to mention the golden olden days where one could sic the FBI and IRS on one’s opposition) have been as essential to the political process as prime voters lists. Compared to Washington, Albany is a wide open town; like Kansas City in the thirties, but without the contingent of world class jazzmen. With the minor exception of using state troopers as personal chauffeurs, abuses of police powers have generally been an off-menu item on the Albany high-caloric bill of fair.

Well before last year’s election, Shelly Silver told a close confidante, "you know, Eliot is not one of us". This has clearly been proven to be an accurate assessment, although whether it necessarily qualifies as an improvement is surely a matter of one’s personal taste. For example, the unwritten laws of Albany state that a Governor is never allowed to use his personal power to disrupt the existing partisan majorities in the chambers of the State Legislature. I was personally very fond of the contempt Spitzer displayed towards this unwritten law during the recent Nassau County special election for State Senate. I am, however, somewhat concerned about what appears to be a similar level of contempt for those laws which are actually written, as well as for the spirit such laws are said to embody.

Like he said in one of his campaign ads, Eliot Spitzer never asks if it is popular or unpopular, but simply whether it is right or wrong. Spitzer believes that this is not a bad rule. Whether one agrees with him or not may be dependent upon whether one shares Spitzer’s sense of what constitutes right and wrong.

As per the Albany norm, the press is missing the point. This is not a matter of hypocrisy; Eliot Spitzer did not get into trouble because he betrayed his principles; Eliot Spitzer got into trouble because he lived by them. Like Rudy G, Eliot S is the sheriff who came to clean up Dodge. He sees himself as pure and righteous; at best, he sees others as craven and cowardly lesser men, living by expedience; at worst, he sees them as the embodiments of evil incarnate. And certainly, even those of us who disagree with Spitzer’s assessment of himself, can appreciate the accuracy of his assessment of almost everyone else he’s encountered in Albany thus far.

Like the Giuliani crime family (I call it "The Partnership"), Eliot and his crew see themselves as the good guys; the good guys stand for justice. Laws are there to keep those who are not good guys in line; they are there to prevent the bad guys from doing bad, and not to hamper the good guys from doing good. There may occasionally be internal debates within "‘this thing of ours" concerning the eternal question of whether to draw the line at "by any means necessary" or "by any means possible", but in the end, the ends will always justify the means, provided that the means are deemed effective.

This renders the obsession by the press and various Republicans concerning "what the Governor knew and when he knew it" into an object of sheer hilarity. Can any one doubt that the working environment created by Spitzer made clear that free license was available for any and all means seen as useful to accomplishing the implementation of the sacred program for “reform”? The sole caveat to such license was that the means which were deployed were only to be those which would work. In fact, the untimely revelation that the means which were deployed did not ultimately prove effective, and were, in fact, counterproductive, is the only possible source for any shred of plausible deniability on the Governor’s part.

The one thing we expected from Eliot Spitzer was competence. Instead, we’ve been treated to a display of hubris undone in which Harry Reems has been revealed to be (if Bonnie Bramlett is to be believed) Elvis Costello. The whole thing reminds one of Tom Delay’s effort to enlist the Federal Aviation Administration into tracking down the location of a group of Democratic Texas State legislators hiding in secrecy in order to prevent the enactment of a midterm reapportionment designed to ensure the continued Republican control of Congress. The only difference is that Delay deployed his tactical abuse of power to accomplish a specific goal. By contrast, Spitzer’s crew deployed their abuse of power seemingly for its own sake, because they could.

Bad dog!

Does this cast doubt upon Spitzer’s credentials as a "reformer"? Well, it is clearer than ever that he wants to "re-form" state government. What is in doubt is the manner of "reform" he seeks to achieve. For years the debate in Albany has been between those who want to perpetuate "Three Men in a Room", those in the Assembly Minority, who want to expand the playing field to "Five Men in a Room", and those in the Senate Minority who prefer to keep the system the same, but (except for Carl Kruger) want to change one of the men. By contrast, Spitzer’s preferred model appears to be "One Man in a Room".

This may be the one consistency embodied in what otherwise seems to be a series of confusing gyrations. The Governor wants what he wants, and will do what ever it takes to attain his goals.

In the battle over the Comptrollership, Eliot wanted a fight with Shelly Silver. He did not want a Comptroller, in a position to make crucial pronouncements over revenue estimates, to be beholden to the legislature. Silver, beholden to a conference not without its ability to threaten rebellion (just ask Steve Levy!), offered Spitzer any legislator of his choice; Spitzer demurred. Eventually Spitzer, Bruno and Silver agreed to the implementation of a modified version that Albany favorite, "Three Men in a Room" (here called "The Three Wise Men"). When it became clear that the "Three Men" would list Assemblyman Pete Grannis among their favorites, Grannis suddenly and unexpectedly found himself named as Spitzer’s Commissioner of Environmental Conservation; the alarming possibility of peace was to be avoided at all costs. Spitzer’s favorite, Billy Mulrow, did get through the panel, allowing the Governor the opportunity to have the "independent" revenue forecaster be beholden to him, instead of to the legislative branch, but the NY Times editorialized against this possibility, removing that temptation and allowing Spitzer to mount the "bully pulpit" and make his bones as a "reformer" by backing Martha Stark and traveling across the state humiliating local Democratic State legislators in their home districts.

This is the Spitzer version of "How to Win Friends and Influence People", and the strategy was quite effective once it was understood that the friends Spitzer was attempting to win were not in the legislature; even though Spitzer’s ultimate goals did include influencing the legislature, his strategy for doing so was analogous to having George Latimer wake up to find himself in bed with a horse’s head (by contrast, the Governor now appears to have walked into his own office suite only to find it populated with a roomful of the horse’s other end). In the eyes of the press, Spitzer emerged from the Comptroller battle an heroic figure. Like a sacrifice bunt turned grand slam, Spitzer had morphed into Houdini, wrapping himself securely in the jaws of defeat only to emerge victorious and unscathed.

From the Comptroller’s race, the Governor swung full force into the budget process, and seeking to avoid the embarrassing delays of years past, immediately reverted into the traditional version of the "Three Men" strategy, concluding that the sordid means he had pledged to forsake were justified by the worthy end of avoiding uncomfortable headlines about Albany disfunction and paralysis. This seemed to be the exact opposite tact from the one displayed earlier, but both reinforced the image, if not the reality, of Spitzer the Crusader in Charge.

Now we see a different image. The Governor has been humbled in a manner from which he cannot recover. He may not have suffered a loss of his considerable constitutional powers, but he can never reconstruct the busted cherry of his image as Albany’s caped crusader. And over what? Joe Bruno has trumpeted to anyone who would listen (seemingly everyone) that the Cuomo report has deemed "proper" his sleazy use of taxpayer financed airspace to facilitate his fund-raising endeavors, which he’d disguised using as camouflage "state business" as substantive as Courthouse toilet paper. Joe, the word is not "proper", it is "permissible". The only manner in which it is "proper" is as part of the term "proper-gander" (it walks like a duck, and if there were any justice, Joe’s goose would be cooked).

Is it any surprise that, in an atmosphere where such abuses of the public till go unchallenged, Spitzer’s folks could have believed that "anything goes"? In the end, Spitzer’s greatest powers emanated from smoke and mirrors, and now the smoke has cleared and there is little that remains but shattered glass.

To their credit, in this scandal, the Senate Republicans have not abandoned their principles, such as they are. Unlike their Washington counterparts, or the Spitzer administration, the Senate Republicans have no interest in using the tools of law enforcement for political aims; in fact, they have no interest in law enforcement having any relationship whatsoever with life as it is lived in the City of Albany. Certainly, they have no interest in criminally prosecuting Spitzer or his subordinates, or in removing Spitzer from office. That is the last thing they want. They’ve got themselves a completely gelded governor with three and a half years left on his term; what more could they possibly need? David Paterson? Hell, Paterson as Governor could plausibly say he didn’t see a thing. Better, as always in Albany, to maintain the status quo.

Yes, the Senate Republicans will attempt to conduct hearings, but that is only to keep Spitzer’s wounds open and well salted. And, whether an act of selfless integrity, or just convenience, one cannot help noting that it is not unprcedented for members of the Family Cuomo to lend aide and comfort to the State Senate's Republican Majority; although, in fairness to Cuomo, it is clear that he does not share Joe Bruno's desire that Spitzer remain as the state's top Democrat.    

As someone who largely embraces the overwhelming majority of the substantive program of the Spitzer administration, who thrills to Spitzer’s willingness to flout all the conventions of the Albany’s Culture of Corruption Through Legality, and who applauds Spitzer’s efforts to destroy the Albany Bi-Partisan Iron Triangle, even if somewhat unsure about the desirability of whatever it is Spitzer ultimately intends to put in its place, it is galling to watch the press so willingly bend over and cede Joe Bruno the moral high ground. But Eliot Spitzer lived his political life writing checks on the credit accumulated from a mandate for "reform", and now the notes have been called and he has defaulted on his moral obligation bonds, as checks he signed with love and hisses come back marked insufficient funds.

Can you get to that?