Comptroller. David Yassky: Davis Weprin reminds me of Rupert Pupkin in “The King of Comedy;” he is a parochial outer-borough pol, utterly lacking in vision, who promises to restore the model of Abe Beame; anyway, voting for him is just postponing the unenviable to the runoff, and why bother, for someone so lacking in inspiration? Melinda Katz owes her career to Alan Hevesi, Hank Morris, Ray Harding & Jack “Mod Squad” Chartier; the idea of her being Comptroller would be like putting Michael Jackson in charge of a Day Care Center. That leaves, John Liu (who started the campaign running for something else) and David Yassky; both slick articles who put escape hatches in every sentence. There is one difference, however; Yassky is the only candidate who has not ruled out taking a hard look at the impending meltdown of our public employee pension system. Given that he eats dinner every night with the Executive Director of the watchdog Citizen’s Budget Commission, and appears to be genuinely smitten with her (perhaps more so than even with himself), this is probably a credible promise. This job needs someone with a genuine touch of fiscal conservatism, and Yassky seems the only one who can offer it.

Public Advocate: Mark Green. A vote for Bill DeBlasio is a vote for the WFP/ACORN System of land use pay for play being implemented with its own wholly owned vote at the City Planning Commision. Plus, he’s run a disgusting campaign. The best way to fill this job is to find the person who could most effectively drive the Mayor nuts; sadly, this function is probably going to be essential over the next four years of the City’s continued functioning as a subsidiary of Bloomberg, LP. Norman Siegel may look promising, but the facts is that his type of Merry Pransker radicalism is exactly the sort of thing Bloomberg finds least threatening; he’ll just shake his head, smile, and say, “Oh, that Norman, what can you expect?” No wonder Bloomie’s paid help, like Hank Sheinkopf, are now working for him. Eric Gioa is basing his campaign on the fact that he‘s the guy not bickering, when bickering (as opposed to whining) is the nature of the job. Mark Green may be a little shopworn, but he’s the one guy we can count on to keep the Mayor on his toes.

Male District Leader 64C: Paul Newell. I don’t really likes the crowd he hangs with, but it will drive Shelly nuts; Paul's also responsible for my big-screen debut.  

Female District Leader 64B: Alice Cancel

Female District Leader 74A: Rosie Mendez

In both cases, the ladies’ opponents are certifiable, and not in a good way, like Rock.

Council District 2: Rosie Mendez (I can‘t help it, I think she’s cute. Smart too) .