The Hamptons Jipped-Me...
... and you, for that matter.
Want some homeland security? Then ride the freakin' Jitney!
That's right. That's where it's at. Your personal homeland is safe so long as you're traveling in style to and fro the Hamptons.
Not going to the Hamptons? Then sorry. You're shit out of luck.
While New York City scrambles to fill its homeland security funding shortfalls, the folks at Hampton Jitney Inc. have had no problem landing their share of Homeland Security funding - to the tune of $83,000 over the past two cycles (viewable here and here).
And for what?
Locks, lights and employee ID's at Jitney HQ in Southampton, says Jennifer Friebely, Jitney spokeswoman. "The whole purpose of anything that we've done is to make sure that we are ahead of the curve," she says. "And to make sure we are secure, and that our coaches are secure."
Which is interesting and all, especially since the grants were seemingly awarded to fund a GPS system. But, apparently that system was already in place, according to Friebely. Which might also explain why the Jitney folk have yet to spend their 2005 funding.
Solution$ in search of problems?
Anyway ... good ol' fashion pork product this Department of Homeland Security grant is not. When asked if Congressman Tim Bishop submitted a letter of support on behalf of the Jitsters (who had made campaign contributions to him in the past), District Director John Schneider said, "To the best of my knowledge, we were not involved." And later also added that to the best of his knowledge the "Hamptons are not known to be a hotbed for Al Qaeda activity."
Hat tip to Citizens Against Government Waste