Tea Bagging In Iowa In Need Of A Golden Shower

Yes it was the same old same old among the GOP presidential hopefuls marching through the fields of Iowa.  You know the drill, gay bashing to appeal to religious kooks, tipping the hat to wealthy fat cats by equating corporations with people something that will make Justice Scalia a curiosity to future historians and so forth and so on leading one to wonder with this drought of ideas why does Iowa have such a big say in the future of America.


Why not a super primary day in the Metro New York area.  No state can muster the economic, intellectual, creative and media power of this region.  And we can beat everyone to the punch by holding it on New Year’s Day. 


I mean do you really think a “straw poll” would work in Manhattan where champions are expected to go mano y mano for 15 rounds with the loser being lower into a straw bed on the floor of Madison Square Garden. 


Why not hold a super New Year’s Day primary in the metro area and be done with Iowa and its corn dogs and bible reading.  Wouldn’t you rather see an Army Navy football game fundraiser on the frozen ground of Yankee Stadium than a grasshopper eating its way through a corn field?


But let’s pump it up and add Pennsylvania and New England into this heavy weight ticket with candidates giving last minute speeches at Foxboro in minus ten degree weather to rally the troops.


Would you rather see pretty boy Republicans standing on bales of hay or callusing their hands by unloading cargo on the Phillie waterfront?   Maybe a same sex prayer rally hosted by the gay Episcopal bishop of New Hampshire instead of eating a deep fried Twinkie at the Iowa State Fair.


Oh we could go on but let’s face it we can all agree Iowa’s role in American presidential politics has gone the way of the Pontiac, analog TV and the dumb phone.  It’s time for some 4-G action in the Northeast on New Year’s Day.