American males seem to love the Dynamic Duo. For shallow, celebrity loving Americans, the post-Republican Convention bounce is as high as 10% over Obama/ Biden. Sarahcuda is the VP pick most males would love to boink. Go ahead and vote for them. Pit bulls, even ones wearing lipstick, bite. Hard. You (and your 'little friend') will be sorry.

There are lots of real men who discipline their zippers and get married before they have, and raise, children. But the statistics of American males who get women pregnant irresponsibly, creating welfare babies in trailer parks and housing projects across this country, belie the norm. The thousands of women annually, who make the retching decision to abort unsupported babies, were impregnated by men.

In the face of the Rockefeller Commission on Population Control and the American Future, worry about the 'Birth Dearth' continues to exist. Subconsciously or not, many males want to keep American women barefoot and pregnant. Sexually abuse them while they are young, dumb, and full of ... 

Go ahead. Take away the abortion option; a heartbreaking last resort for millions of American women impregnated by callous, unreliable men who walk away and refuse take responsibility for the children they sire. Keep comprehensive sex education out of schools and take away birth control, removing the only chance young 'uns have to graduate from high school, attend college, and grow into fulfilled, contributing citizens. 

Don't think American women are going to take this lying down (or standing up). They are not going to march in the streets, burning bras for male titillation. Someone will find Lorena Bobbitt and resurrect her. If heterosexual women begin to see the American penis as more of a problem than it already is, they will attack it.

Forced separation from your little friend may be uncommon, but there are other options. Most women know who gets them pregnant. DNA testing can confirm fatherhood of reckless live births and aborted fetuses. Counting them is simple. Pick a threshold-- 5, 10, 20 unwanted pregnancies-- above which women say “No more.” Forced vasectomy for males whose sexual behavior is over the top, out of wedlock, and irresponsible may become the new legislative goal. 

Gentlemen, no one is impressed with the erected powers of Via-grow, except you. If you need to be 'healthy enough to have sex' to take just one, risking that pesky problem of the 4-hour erection, what would a cocktail of 4 or 5 of them, lovingly served to you by that happy hooker in your life, do? Don't think some psychologically stressed pregnant person, with no abortion option, won't try it. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. If you are going to risk blindness anyway, you might as well masturbate, instead of creating unwanted pregnancies fueled by erectile dysfunction drugs.

The beauty of Web 2.0 and cell phones is the ability to post video of men who go around irresponsibly getting women pregnant. Hall of shame websites would spring up, capturing males in all their sexually duplicitous glory. Women would know to hit their favorite site, checking out that Rico Suave they met at the club, before they have sex. (We already have state-sponsored, searchable listings of sexual predators, complete with pics, names, addresses, and gory crime details.) And if she is too drunk, she can assign her BFF, armed with an I-Phone, to do the real time search for her. Any history of making unwanted babies would stop the show. Unavailable abortion or birth control options would eventually deny sex to millions of shunned men. Is this a hidden Republican agenda?

If American men vote Mr. Cheating Five and Sarahcuda into office, it is guaranteed they will go after abortion. And birth control. Do not be fooled. The penis you save may be your own.