Ladies, Stop Giving Vajayjay to Criminals, Please!
This week, gun violence claimed a family member of community activist Tony Herbert, who has stood with countless families impacted by violence. Herbert's 23-year-old nephew, Lawrence Andre Sykes, was shot multiple times Sept. 16 in broad daylight on the street in Richmond, Virginia. He was pronounced dead at the scene. The suspects in Sykes murder are 24-year-old Rashaan Tigean Williams who surrendered to police, and 21-year-old Lamar Elias Defairia.
Senseless gun violence has claimed too many young people in NYC, and across the country. Most, not all, perpetrators are male. Numerous community groups have mobilized marches and rallies to challenge these incidents. It seems these young violent males – who respect nothing and suffer from a dearth of adequate male mentorship, primarily from stable fathers – are not listening.
Perhaps another approach is needed.
Below is an essay I wrote in 2008.
Yet another child has been shot in central Brooklyn. This past weekend several idiots, overdosing on testosterone, started fighting during a block party. Shots rang out. Dania Kerse, 10-years-old, was shot in the shoulder. She was taken to Kings County Hospital, where she is in critical condition.
Dania's family is outraged, as are many other members of the community. This foolishness must stop.
Some community groups have begun to speak against this senseless violence, and many citizens readily work with NYPD when incidents like this occur. Sadly, there are others, including BMW's (Black Males Whining) who complain about Stop-and-Frisk tactics designed to remove illegal guns from the community, and reduce crime rates. Worse, the criminal element among us is forming a voting block, with lobbyists who advocate on their behalf. Many of these individuals show no little or no remorse for the carnage they create, and have no allegiance to Black women, children, or the community as a whole. Black women are expected to be loyal to them, even as they demonstrate no loyalty to the women. Those who commit crimes, and their supporters, blame racism. As if they have no alternative choices, like acquiring an education and getting a job or starting a legal business. There is absolutely no excuse for committing crimes in the community. Living like KKK-in-blackface should not be tolerated.
This chart of NYPD CompStat Crime Complaints depicts the amounts and types of crimes that took place during 2007 in precincts covering central Brooklyn Black communities. NYPD keeps statistics of where and when crimes occur, but does not track sex of people charged with committing crimes. Off the record, some NYPD personnel state not all males commit crimes, but most crimes are committed by males. (It is guaranteed BMW's will not see this sentence.) Anyway, what is a girl to do?
NYPD CompStat Crime Complaints in 2007, by Precinct
in Central Brooklyn Black Communities
During one recent public event, while discussing the HIV crisis in Black communities, a community leader said, “No one is going to stop having sex.” This male (and many others), does not know there are unmarried, educated, economically self-sufficient, fertile Black women who have already stopped having sex. For these women, abstinence is a self-protective mechanism. No one knows the numbers because these women have taken their personal stance in isolation, and no one has sought to count them.
What if Black women collectively decided to stop giving vajayjay to criminals? Contrary to popular male opinion, Black women are already selective regarding who they sleep with. The criteria varies. Gold teeth or no teeth- no vajayjay. Poor hygiene- no vajayjay. Obvious lack of health- no vajayjay. Street homelessness- no vajayjay. Living with his mama homelessness- no vajayjay. Your sister's ex-boyfriend- no vajayjay. Your brother's ex-boyfriend- no vajayjay. Welfare babies- no vajayjay. No job- no vajayjay. Criminals can be added to the Shun List.
How to tell if he's a criminal? If he talks about it. One male's conversation was an elaborate wish to commit armed robbery of Costco's. The woman listened while silently shaking her head in disbelief. When the conversation ended, this male made his move for sex. Of course, he didn't get any.
Any male with a pocket full of money and no job should be suspect, unless he is a covert CIA operative, which is highly unlikely in the inner city. If he is hanging on the corner in the morning as you travel to work, and is on that same corner when you return, he's idle, useless, and a potential two-legged problem.
Women can unobtrusively check if he is carrying an illegal gun. (If he does not work for law enforcement, or have a license, what is he doing with a gun?) Sista can check out that cutie she just met at the basement party by feeling him up while on the dance floor. Or, when he comes to your house for dinner, surreptitiously frisk him during the welcome hug. If he is carrying, gently beg off in a non-confrontational manner. You know how we do. He won't even know what happened.
Why deny vajayjay? The message will get across that Black women disapprove of crime. Even the slowest male would get the message sooner or later. The added benefit would be the end of breeding criminals, and the criminal lifestyle. Criminality is not a genetic trait, but what woman wants to negatively complicate her live and the live(s) of her child(ren) by spending weekends traveling upstate to visit baby daddy in prison? If a woman is already in that situation, that is one thing. But voluntarily creating that situation with your eyes wide open, is another. And marrying someone while they are in lock-up should be out of the question. All he is going to do is demand money for commissary. What is the point?
Targeting those who commit crimes with this non-violent social change would benefit everyone in the community. We would not live in fear. Children could walk the sidewalk without getting shot. We might be able to trust one another. We could build a healthier community, instead of diverting precious time and financial resources fighting crime. It will be interesting to see BMW's complain about this. If males who commit crimes really want Black women, they will stop the anti-social behaviors. The change would not happen overnight, but it would happen.
Originally published in Our Time Press September 18, 2008
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