Carl Paladino and Patty Ritchie are literally falling over themselves and each other these days.  And that's a good thing, because they're made for each other.

Yesterday we learn--as we pointed out here and here a while ago--that Carl Paladino's military record was/is bogus. I mean, even a boot-camp buck-private could have figured out that what Paladino was trying to shovel us on his military experience was extravagently false and stupidly contrived.Or as Fred Dicker of the New York Post calls him, "Commander Carl " and his crock of army surplus.  We prefer "Captain Carl" since that's what he was when he abruptly sectioned out of the army.  (Note to Dicker: See if you can next get any of Commander Carl's Officer Fitness Reports. They should be a hoot.)

Why is upstate New York still enthralled with Carl Paladino? 

I have no idea, that's why I'm asking you. 

Case in point, check out this gaggle of rationalization from upstate assemblyman Pete Lopez when asked why he was hanging out with Carl Paladino:

“I have seven counties and there are a number of Tea Party groups there,” Lopez, R-Schoharie, said. “What’s interesting about the movement is these folks are community people. They’re not political people. They’re engaged, which is critical for our future. People were becoming disengaged, even jaundiced.”

“He’s basically a response to that grass-roots,” Lopez continued. “My sense of the candidate is he’s clearly not polished…I can’t speak for all of his words, or be accountable for them, but for me the movement is the important thing, and in New York he’s at the head of the movement.”

Like I said earlier this week, you just can't make this stuff up.

It seems that Carl Paladino policy impresario "Rus Thompson" has even more than three names. (We already knew he was a fugitive.  It took like ten bucks to figure that out).

Hats off to DaBrinker for asking Carl Paladino how exactly he spent his time in the military and if he’d open up his service jacket. However, I don't think Brinker's going to get an answer from these guys.

And not for nothing, Paladino more recently gave the New York Times yet another story about his Army duties. This time he tells them he was in Fort Bliss--rather than Fort Dix--preparing troops for Vietnam. Where's Carl gonna to claim he was stationed next week, Fort Apache?

Some things in Carl Paladino's meta-theme just don't make sense, especially to anybody who's ever served in the military. Carl claims that he's qualified to propose and run a work/hygiene camp for New York welfare recipients because he had experience at Fort Dix doing so while in the Army. This doesn't make sense. At all. So, Carl, could you please answer these three questions for everybody. (Especially since you're such a stickler for "the truth").

NGD: To start out, Mr. Paladino, what was your childhood like?

CP: Well, I didn't really know much about my father, he died when I was very young. I do know that he was a Sardinian sailor who got really drunk during a Santa Guiseppina Molto Virtuosa festival and slipped and fell headfirst into a vat of boiling olive oil.  It all happened after my mother clocked him with a huge capodimonte piece she won in the raffle. She still has the thing on her mantle. I love my mother.

NGD: Since you pride yourself on being politically incorrect, what does Carl Paladino consider to be politically incorrect?

Hate to say I told ya so, but I did.  Now we've got Carl Paladino in our living room.  And he didn't even break a sweat.

I'm loathe to continue calling him a racist, because nowadays everybody's a racist and/or fascist of some sort. And 'racist/facist/bestiality-connoisseur' is too much of a mouthful.  So I'm looking for the pitch-perfect descriptor for somebody who digs animal porn, would herd welfare recipients into work-and-hygiene gulags, all the while beating--and then jailing--the Anti-Christ on the state Thruway, and collecting daddy-children along the way.  So I'm thinking Caligua.   

What's wrong with people from the Buffalo-area? I ask because last month Carl Paladino gets the endorsement of the Erie County Republican Party for his run for governor of the State of New York.  I'm curious to know how it happens that a guy who propagates the notion that the president of the United States--and his family--is some kind of ignorant savage--or women having sex with donkeys--gets an endorsement like this. 

My very first thought upon seeing Paladino's emails was that at the moment Paladino was forwarding this crap to his buddies, there are/were African Americans getting their asses shot off in places like Iraq and Afghanistan--basically defending the interests of idiots like Paladino to do and say stupid things about them. 

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