Dear God:

I know that former Mayor Rudy Giuliani of New York has run a horrible campaign and made such a bad choice waiting to really try to win a Primary until next week. He spent a lot of money in Iowa and then didn't campaign there. He barely campaigned in New Hampshire, Michigan and South Carolina.

I know that he's a horrible, vindictive, petty and vengeful person, as documented by the New York Times recently and that he used to be quite a moderate Republican, who very much like Gov. Mitt Romney has drastically shifted his positions to the Right to appeal to conservative voters.

I know that Mr. Giuliani has lots of conflicts of interests, it's now been absolutely proven that the NYPD was dead-set against the emergency command center for the City being at 7 World Trade Center, his claims of leadership on 9/11, foreign policy experience, cutting taxes and balancing budgets are completely exaggerated, and he really is pro-choice, pro-gay and anti-gun control, and GOP voters don't like those things.

I know he's an excommunicated Catholic and his personal life is like a soap opera; he made millions representing companies like the State Venezuelan oil company Citgo; his kids hate him; he cheated on his second wife (after annulling the marriage to his cousin); and his wife kicked him out of Gracie Mansion after he brought his mistress into their home with his children there and that he went to live with two gay men and Shih Tzu. Oh and there was the holding a press conference to announce his divorce before telling his wife.

I know he limited civil rights in this City, millions tax dollars had to be paid in settlement money for 1st Amendment claims filed against him almost every one of which he lost, that he basically defended police brutality on his watch and he had that horrible comb over the whole time to "hide" is balding.

On the other hand, Lord, he did, stop using a comb over.

I know he's behind in the polls in Florida, but so was Sen. Hillary Clinton in New Hampshire, right?

Please, please, please let him win in Florida. The stories would be so great the next day: NY Daily News: “Rudy! Rudy! Rudy!” “NY Post: "He’s Alive!" Times: "Giuliani Surprise Winner in Florida; Four Front-Runners for GOP going into Super-Duper Tuesday," National Inquirer: "McCain Wets Himself During Concession Speech," etc.

It would be so great for the Democrats, who you must be rooting for if you are truly a righteous God, to have a fractured contentious battle continue between Mitt Romney, Gov. Mike Huckabee and Sen. John McCain. [corrected] Mr. Giuliani, if proven viable in Florida, could win here in New York and maybe New Jersey, too (dare I hope California?) They would continue negative ads and pointing out each others' considerable faults. They would also continue sucking up and spending more GOP money during the primaries. It would also be so very very entertaining.

So, again, Dear God above, I beg thee to let Mayor Giuliani win the Florida Republican Primary.

Amen.

Politiko