Having Your Beef Patty And Eating It, As Well

This will apply to many of the situations I plan to present in this piece.

Let's start with a little ditty about fromer NYPD officer Keith Moreno, who was acquitted of rape. Apparently, back in 2009, a search of his locker came up with - horrors! - two packets of heroin.

According to his lawyers, he shared the locker with "several other officers".